


Decisions

by orphan_account



Series: Comfort [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Implied Smut, Mild Sexual Content, Mild Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-02
Updated: 2015-05-02
Packaged: 2018-03-26 19:27:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3861919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The reader decides not to be with either of the brothers. But nothing is ever that simple, is it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Decisions

I pulled away from Dean. “Dean, this…this just isn’t a good idea,” I stammered, my eyes on the floor. “With everything that happened…I just think it would get too complicated.”

Dean’s face fell as he shifted away from me.

“It’s not you,” I said quickly. “I had a really good time with you, too. But there’s everything with Sam, and it’s just too much…”

He nodded at me. “If that’s what you want.” He attempted to smile as he turned his eyes back to the movie.

I didn’t know what I wanted. I wanted to take back everything that had happened with both brothers, but I also wanted to see where all of this was headed. Mostly, I didn’t want to hurt anybody, including myself, but it was probably too late for that now.

We watched the rest of the movie in silence.

The next few weeks were busy for all of us. Sam and Dean took several cases, only stopping by the bunker a few times to get clean clothes and a few hours of sleep. I was on research duty, answering middle of the night phone calls in which an exhausted Sam or Dean would need me to figure out how to kill some monster or do some spell.

The weirdness of the triangle I had gotten myself into started to fade as the routine of our lives took over; we were all pretending it hadn’t happened to begin with. Something like that didn’t leave the mind easily though, and my thoughts drifted toward those memories if I didn’t keep my mind otherwise occupied.

Maybe I was being obvious. Whenever I was thinking about those few days, it must have been all over my face, and that’s why Sam sent me a text asking if I wanted to come to his room that evening after Dean was asleep.

He had just come in from a run and stretched out on the floor, his shirt sliding up and revealing the lines of his hip bones. The buzzing of my phone pulled me out of the fantasy those hip bones caused. I tried not to react to the text, since he and Dean were both in the room with me. Flustered, I set the phone face down on the table in front of me and didn’t pick it up until I went to my room, locking the door behind me.

That was the beginning of Sam’s pursuit. He made it clear that he still wanted me. I did my best to ignore the seemingly casual touches and flirty texts, and the way he stared at me, but that only made him try harder.

“Sam, we need to talk.” I needed this to stop. I had made the decision that nothing was going to happen between me and either of them, and I needed him to respect that. I needed the pursuit to end.

“Finally.” Sam leaned forward expectantly.

I opted for being blunt. “Nothing is going to happen between us.”

“Oh. Okay,” he said slowly, “I just thought we’d had fun. I mean, we’re best friends and we’re attracted to one another. Where’s the bad there?”

“We did have fun.” I tried not to think about how much fun. “But, like I told Dean, this is all just too much. I can’t start an actual relationship with you.”

Sam’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Like you told Dean?”

My face flushed. “Yeah. He, um, tried to kiss me a few days after you and I, you know…” I confessed.

Sam’s expression was guarded. “I didn’t know that. Well, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I’ll leave you alone.” His tone was polite but without its usual warmth. He went to his room, leaving me unsure of what had just happened.

The following few days passed slowly, Sam speaking only when necessary, me feeling miserable, and Dean probably wondering what the hell was going on. My guilt became irritation as Sam held his grudge.

Was he mad that Dean had tried to kiss me? - That wasn’t my problem.

Was he mad that I had turned him down? - He needed to get over that.

The tension didn’t ease between Sam and me, and eventually I quit trying to make it better. I spent my time alone or with Dean.

Dean had either completely gotten over everything, or he hadn’t been that upset about it in the first place. Whatever the reason, we were closer friends than ever.

We even hunted together once or twice.

“Please, Y/N?” Dean was pouting and giving me puppy dog eyes.

“Dean, I just want to stay in the motel room, order Chinese, and watch bad television.”

Dean continued to stare at me. Eventually, I sighed, only slightly exasperated. “Fine, we can go. I still don’t know why you need me there, though.”

“Because Sam’s not here and you are the only one who will actually give me a challenge when we play pool.”

I grinned and grabbed the motel key card as we headed to some random bar Dean had discovered just up the road.

I stayed near our pool table when Dean went to order our drinks, not wanting to cramp his style if he found a woman he was interested in.But he came back shortly, and was soon absorbed in our game. He won the first game, I won the second, and we called it a draw. Sitting in the dim light of the bar, finishing our beers, I stretched and relaxed.

“You got lucky.” Dean was complaining about not winning both games.

“It’s easy to be lucky when you scratch.”

Dean searched for a comeback, but had none. I laughed and threw a peanut at him.

“What’s going on with you and Sam?” he asked.

I was caught off guard, and paused for a moment before answering quietly. “He wanted to keep whatever it was going.”

My answer was vague, but Dean nodded his understanding. “I told him what I told you, that it wasn’t a good idea. He hasn’t handled it well.” I took a long drink of my beer and silently watched a game of darts being played across the room.

Dean sounded partly amused and partly irritated when he spoke again. “Sammy and I have never gone after the same girl before.”

“You aren’t doing that now. We decided that it wasn’t a good idea.”

“You decided it wasn’t a good idea, and I respected that. That’s not the same thing. But you’re right; Sam isn’t doing right by you. He’s just sulking.”

Dean changed the subject then and I was laughing again in no time. We took our time walking back to the motel, Dean giving me his jacket when the breeze picked up. Being with Dean was so easy. Even when we were talking about Sam, there had been no judgment or resentment. I wished everything in my life was that simple, that easy.

We paused to say goodnight outside of my motel room door.

“Back on the road first thing in the morning?” Dean asked.

“Yep. Thanks for making me have some fun Dean. And for not making me watch as you hit on some poor girl.”

Dean grinned and winked. “Poor? Not if it was me hitting on her. And thank you for not making me watch you flirt either. The guy wouldn’t know what hit him.”

I rolled my eyes as he turned to the door of the room next to mine, pulling out his key card. He pushed the door open slightly, and then turned back to me, his face serious. He inhaled and opened his mouth, but didn’t speak.

I was going to regret this, I knew it. “There was only one person at the bar tonight that I want to flirt with.”

My words settled something in Dean’s mind, and he pushed the door open wider. Dean’s hands were on my hips before I was completely in the room, gently pushing me toward the bed. His kiss felt different this time. It wasn’t a drunken moment of spontaneity, and it wasn’t a passing urge. It was a deliberate decision that meant more.

It was a line in the sand that we were sprinting across.

We undressed slowly, Dean’s hands tracing every curve. His arms cradled me as we dropped to the bed, not breaking our kiss. He pulled back to look at me, and for the first time since I was a teenager, I was nervous.

We moved slowly, enjoying every part of each other. His fingers laced through mine and didn’t let go, and the sun was coming up before we’d had our fill of each other.

As we settled in to get some sleep, Dean leaned in and kissed me one more time, neither of us bothering to close our eyes. Somehow, that kiss was more intimate than anything else we’d done.

I yawned and tried to keep myself awake on the drive home, watching mile after monotonous mile pass by. Most of the ride was spent in comfortable silence as Dean drove too fast and hummed along to the quiet radio.

I still felt unsure about any kind of relationship with Dean. Hunters weren’t good at commitment as a general rule, and there was the added risk of losing Dean’s friendship. Dean didn’t push me to talk about it, so I forgave myself for not having an answer.

At home, I went straight to my room and fell into bed. Feeling the crunch of paper, I pulled a note out from underneath me.

“I’m an idiot. I’m sorry I acted like a baby. I had no right to get upset and make you feel guilty for being overwhelmed. I understand, I really do. Can we go back to that night on the couch and start over? Because I still think about it all the time. I know you said you couldn’t handle an actual relationship, and that’s okay. I’ll take whatever I can get. I just want to feel your skin again…My door is always open.”

My pulse quickened at Sam’s words, and I felt the familiar pull.

Having no options is lonely and sad, but having too many might be worse.

I thought about Dean - sweet, loving Dean with his fun sense of humor and his brave heart.

Then I thought about Sam - sexy as hell Sam, with his desire to please and his flattering possessiveness.

I wanted them both.

I slept for a long time, trying to put off the inevitable. As soon as I gathered the courage, the three of us were going to sit down and talk.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you, thank you, thank you for the kudos and comments. I appreciate you all so much!


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